Happy retired Men
As I make my way through retirement, it is apparent that happy retired men are limited in numbers.
They may be fairly content. Just not as happy as they had dreamed of. They would have their tag read “very happy retired men.”
Men are not prepared
Men did not prepare to be happy in retirement.
They thought it would just happen, this happy stuff.
While they may be happy to be retired. Not have the responsibility of holding down a job every day as before retirement. Finding things that are enjoyable and make you feel good about your time spent is sometimes a bit difficult.
As the retirement weeks drift into months, you may find yourself feeling less happy than you imagined. You actually find yourself bored.
Now, this is not how you had imagined retirement to be. So now you are looking for some answers from other retirees. You know you can change this situation.
And you can.
However, you must take action.
This “happy” you are searching for is not going to just jump on you. You have to decide to take action. Turn your boredom thinking into creative and positive thinking action.
Flip the switch
You can just decide to be happy and do the “flip the switch trick.”
You know, one day you are sad. The next you are happy.
However few of us have developed our ability to do this trick. I have known one or two in my lifetime who could. I am not one of them. Are you?
I had to do more research on the way people and minds work. Search out the information that is there, just buried under heaps of theories. Here is a short version of what I discovered.
“In retirement, you do have the ability to change how you think and feel.”
You can take the glitches in your life that are less than you had hoped for and make them better.
Taking back control now as retired men
One of the positive results of taking the first step is the feeling of having control of your life again.
That is one strange thing about retirement. Many retirees do not really feel in control of their lives. Their hours and days.
Some retirees have so completely changed their mindsets from the work world to the retired world.
To have successful days when working, you had a plan.
You knew what was expected of you each day.
The jobs that were most important were attended to first. Then you worked your way to the less important. It was as simple as that.
Then that retirement mindset took over
There is no order or structure to your day. Each day just passes.
You may feel that you have no say in how you spend your hours each day. This can leave one feeling adrift.
You may have some things you enjoy, but if you do not plan to have time for these activities, you will not get then into a workable plan.
You may find yourself without a golfing partner because you did not call and set a time.
Have you ever noticed that when you have an appointment, the rest of the day automatically falls in place?
That was when it became clear to me that I could have a say in how much fun this retirement would be, or would not be.
Now, clearly, I do not qualify as a retired man! However, in observation of people and lives, the issues are similar.
An unstructured life.
I had bought into the mindset that having the days to call my own with no schedule was the desired way to live in retirement.
An occasional unscheduled day, yes.
A life? It got boring and old fast.
I think many have also allowed the “running from structure” attitude to be the guideline for their retirement life. However, as this comes with a whole new set of problems, I knew this was not for me.
How has the lack of structure worked for you?
So, a schedule was the solution.
It can help your days as well. Not a strictly structured schedule with no room for freedom or changing things around.
A schedule is a way to help guide your life into a happy and successful retirement.
For men, this is particularly hard, at least for the ones that I have known in my lifetime.
Too many men look at a “schedule” like a chore list or a honey-do list.
If someone else is making the list, that is what it is.
If you make it for yourself, you will find your attitude much different.
You will be deciding what it will take to make you happy.
You will be outlining your days, deciding the best time to do what you have decided is needed to make your days happier.
This is your retirement. Or it can be.
If you do not step up and take control, you may find that someone else is controlling your time. This, in turn, will determine how happy you are with your days.
The very fact of having nothing planned makes you venerable for someone else to take over your planning.
Of course, If you have a spouse, you must plan with your spouse in mind. Make plans that include spouses or better yet plan with them.
There will need to be together time and separate time. This can be worked out. You are a mature adult and want to preserve the peace in the family.
Everything does not have to be your way, every time.
However, it will never go your way if you do not lay claim to the right to plan. Then live the plan for your retirement years.
Live as you want at least part of the time.
Some retirees have the mindset that they do not deserve to be happy! And you don’t, if you are making your life choices at the expense of everyone else.
However, in a household where there is a plan, a reasonable agreement can be reached. One that will allow you as a retired senior man to have those fun years of retirement.
Those weeks and months will soon turn into years.
Are you ready to decide what is fun to you?
Ready to make your plan? Ready to live your plan?
Will you continue to just drift through?
Some people worry that wanting to be happier is a selfish goal.
In fact, research shows that happier people are more sociable.
Happier people are more likable, healthy, and productive.
As one of the happy retired senior men, you’re more inclined to help other people.
By working to boost your own happiness, you’re helping to make other people happier, too.
See if you too are missing the comfort of a plan.