Retirees Learning About How To Let Go Of The Past Enjoy Retirement
Retirees, ready for learning about how to let go of the past, enjoy retirement? Quite often when concentrating on careers, earning a living, and all the other parts of survival, be become very focused. Often to the point of obsession. Switching gears into retirement can be an adjustment. To make this adjustment easier there is a process called rewriting.
For some, the family ties are very important. For others, friends are more important. Often while employed, you run short of time and energy and the relationship part of your life can suffer as a result.
Are family relationships during retirement important to you? As one who has moved several times during their lifetime, I find that the one thing that remains constant for me is family contact. New friends were soon made, and new activities replace the old ones.
However, for others, I know it is different. Their lives journeys have carried them different directions. They have developed friendships that have filled this need we all have for the fellow human companionship.
There is no right or wrong way to work this out for yourself, but you usually do find a circle of people you are comfortable with.
In retirement, you have the option of actually “rewriting” yourself. Did you realize along the way that you have allowed your friendship circle to close in with the reality that you have no close contact with your family? If so, now is the time to redo some of that.
You have the time to get to know them again now that you are retired. Reconnect and learn more about them and their lives. Maybe it is the time to visit a favorite aunt you think about. Have lunch and visit with them in their world.
Eating can be a social event, not just a meal
Maybe your nearby family members are like mine. They have all grown accustomed to eating more meals out, so now may be the time to check out the places around where you can eat at off-peak hours. There is always such a crush of people when you eat out at twelve noon. One-thirty might be better.
After living for most of my years in smaller towns, with fewer eating out options, different foods are a fun treat for me. The strange little places that pop up are interesting and enjoyable.
Our part of the world is heavily populated with retired people. We are close enough to the larger medical centers in Austin and San Antonio. We can get in for shopping or to fly somewhere as needed, but still, be living a slower pace of life on a daily basis.
Many retirees agree with us and the area continues to grow with this segment of the population. This affords lots of opportunities to watch and study people. I see lots of people who look so lonely and sad. They are not happy with themselves or anyone else.
These retirees are short tempered and mean in their remarks to the cashier in the grocery store, to the waitress in the restaurant. To the clerks in the shops. They drive without the common courtesy that most observe in our slower paced world.
I have a theory that they are just lonely. They have not learned to rewrite themselves. Have not allowed themselves to make friends. So they are hungry for companionship.
These people have not learned that they are retired. They are still staying in the working and competitive mode.
As the retirement time settles in with you, it is time to figure out the parts of your life you want to rewrite. You may need to take time for lunch with new friends and acquaintances. It may be that you find the social time together is as important for you as you are adjusting to retirement.
I did not take time for this as the kids were growing up and in their young adult years starting their lives. For me, this is a redo opportunity. I have not allowed much time for fun in my life thinking I could not afford it, or I didn’t have the time.
Rewriting some things in retirement
The youngest grandson is soon to be 5. He loves a picnic at the park. I love to take him on picnics. He will soon be too busy for picnics in the park and slow days with his Grandmom. I am writing in time for picnics.
How many opportunities I missed. Now in retirement, with more time for hindsight, I am working to correct this. I want to rewrite the fun times in my life.
We can have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He is happy. We can get a grilled cheese from a carryout place. He does not care.
What he loves is doing it. How often do you take the fun out of doing something simply because you just never get it done? You don’t do it? Retirement allows you to rewrite, what will you rewrite?
Retirement allows time for you to rewrite
Everything is open game for rewriting. Anything you wish you had done differently. You are the author of this part of your life. Work schedules and demands are no longer your focus. The drive to succeed is no longer pushing you forward into a routine you don’t want.
You can stop and nap as needed. There is some down time to think about some new directions for your life. Time to read every book in the neighborhood library if you want. You will find that opening your mind to new events can make your days as wonderful as you had imagined.
There is no need to go through the next many years of your retirement life without the excitement of learning something new. Without seeing some of the exotic places in the world, even if it is only to read a book about the place you are interested in knowing about.
As I learn about homeschooling and the creative ways parents are teaching their students about so many of the world’s exotic places. Learning about the foods that are eaten in some distant place. That makes even a bean burrito a special event! Do not allow your life to be without some special times.
What about having Mexican food for 3 days in a row as you might on a tour of Mexico? Each day reading more about the country and it fascinating people. Seeing pictures of the countryside and the native dress of the population of that region.
Is it time to start something new for your book club?
These opportunities can be a fun way of spending some time during retirement. You can learn a few words of Spanish to make it more fun. Inviting a younger member of your family to take this trip with you, or a friend who is also retired can make the trip and study more fun.
This does not have to be a trip for just the women, you retired men would benefit from trying something new along the way. You might find some unexpected interests and lighthearted benefits that follow you the rest of your life, just as an actual journey could have.
What would you change
Rewrite your life to be more of what you want and less of what you do not want.
As you learn to benefit from this business of changing how your life is going you may find you want to reconnect with your family. With the sibling, you have grown away from. From the parents who seemed so unimportant as time passed.
You will be surprised at the satisfaction of visiting an afternoon away, even in a nursing home with an elderly relative. Even if they do not know who you are. Talking about past shared memories. Past shared relatives. Allowing you to revisit some old memories. Maybe reach some sort of settlement if there are some unsettling events from the past.
You hold your future in your own hands.
What will you do with it? Will you allow family ties to be a part of your retirement? Will you mend old fences? Make the move to mend old fences, offer apologies, even when you feel you do not owe them? Slights ignored over the years tend to grow in importance.
In my working years, I spent 37 1/2 years as a cosmetologist. When we relocated and I was building my business, I had two customers who were an older aunt and her niece.
Of course, due to different lifestyles, their trips to the salon were scheduled at different times of the week and day. They finally encountered one another after being my clients for several years. I had no idea they were related.
They spoke to one another and visited as one does with members of another generation in a community where everyone knows everyone. When the aunt left, the younger niece said: ” that is the first time I have seen her in 5 years.” She then told me that she was her late father’s only sibling.
They lived only about 1 1/2 mile apart. I knew where they both lived. I was dumbfounded. When I felt safe to not get all carried away with questions I asked why she had not seen her? Her health had been failing, and I knew she had several heart attacks in the short time I had known her.
The reply was a most indifferent, “We don’t visit.” (What do you mean? I thought. The niece had few living relatives who were any closer blood kin. She was an only child, who had just buried her older child.)
How sad, when they could have both benefited from a warm relationship. Something from the past was in the way. That part of their lives was never rewritten.
Will you let this happen to you
As life teaches its lessons along the way, being able to make the first move to reconnect to siblings can make retirement time better for you. Also to others who have been a part of your past.
Do you need to make a list of who you would like to make a reconnection too? You may not become best buddies, but a monthly email to keep up is nice.
Facebook has allowed some reconnecting. At least I know where some of the old friends are. We should not lose touch, but we do. We are fortunate to have had so many connections through the years.
Why not enjoy your walks down memory lane? Some, beyond knowing where they live, will not be something you will want to pursue. However, I am sure there will be some who will be as ready to reconnect as you are to the younger lives and times you shared.
Do you look forward to funerals
I have friends and family who have lived in the same place for 45 or 50 years, attending the same church. Their network of friends and family is amazing.
There are some who stayed put but did not keep up with friends and family. Our personalities guide us in how we interreact with people.
Is a funeral becoming a social event for you?
If so, maybe your personality need a bit of rewrite? Will you allow yourself to build a great retirement time? Connection with people from your past can make getting older a lot more fun kind of journey.
Not interested in digging up old friends and acquaintances? What about making new ones? This world is full of people. I am sure you will find some you identify with. You will have more fun in retirement.
Don’t become a recluse
What is your plan for yourself? How will you spend the next 20 years of your life? Do you know how to plan for more social interaction with people?
How will you rewrite your retirement years?
Your social life is very important to a successful retirement.
Come on now, don’t you want to have fun?
Find that one thing that will get you out and about. Volunteer for a cause, a charity, the animal shelter. So many opportunities out there. Make this your time in your life. You are important.
You are also the one to make your social circle and connect with others.
As your retirement time allows time for growing your circle of friends, and to reconnect with your relatives are you going to allow nothing to change?
If you think you have no one you want to connect to, again think volunteer activities. All communities have some kind of charity work that needs attention. Your church has projects.
What will you do?
Live your retirement years with purpose. You can rewrite your future. There can be a successful adjustment for retirement.
Learning about how to let go of the past can help. So can rewriting some parts of your life.