Your Retirement Living And Cohousing
Did you consider cohousing the dream of your retirement living? I sure didn’t.
May look at it differently now. Check out this Ted Talk on the subject
One of the things I remember about my parents as they got older is the casual remarks made about not being around children. That is one of the things that they both really missed, seeing and watching children. From babies to young adults.
This was during the lull between grandchildren and great grandchildren in our family life cycle.
Time for a change in their retirement living
After Dad decided that living in their home was no longer the thing for them to do, as they were needing more and more help, the move was planned to assisted living. This was a very good move for them. Mom really thrived in the home with the communal meals and the social opportunities throughout the day.
Dad, experiencing the first signs of Alzheimer’s, we see in retrospect, was not his usual social self. He was self-conscious and felt like his education left him unprepared to be able to connect and talk with the men who lived there. He had to quit school while in the 6th grade, go to work on the family farm to help take care of his family.
Odd Duck Out
Yes, most of the other residents were from other backgrounds. Banking, Education. His background was agriculture. With the passing years, and the beginnings of dementia, he became very reluctant to learn anything about the other guys’ interests. So he felt disconnected with the men’s social life there.
He felt there was no one to talk to. Most of the people in his former life had passed on. None of his kids had chosen farming to make a living with. This was not how he had planned things.
He had wanted to live out his time there in the red brick house on the corner. The one they had lived in 40 years. I strongly suspect that he thought that everyone in the Assisted Living Facility would be retired farmers.
Nothing was working out as he thought. Living to be 97 was not what he thought it would be.
Was It Ill timed changes?
Had he lived in a cohousing situation for longer in his life he might have been able to feel less isolated as a senior citizen? Maybe.
It is a combination of events that spiraled him to where he was. He was outliving all his peers that he had farmed with for years.
The crew he met at the gin-store every morning. All small communities that are agriculture based have a similar place. For some, it is a feed store.
Regardless, the place is the central hub for what is happening in their part of the world. It is where they identify themselves and the lives lived. As age began to weed out the regulars, and property changed hands, new faces began to appear.
Faces who were younger and had different controversial ideas about farming in this day and time. There was the lack of patience for hearing old stories over and over again. This had been the bonding of the whole male population according to Dad. Neither were they as tolerant of an old man who was not farming telling them what should be happening on their farms.
Realizing Age Has Begun To Catch Up
An old retired farmer who was hard of hearing and losing his spot in the hierocracy of the “Gin Store Culture.”
A lot of what has happened to so many who have lived a long full life and been an active member for over 70 years is slowly realizing that he is no longer an important part of making things happen in the community.
He can no longer care for himself and his wife and home by himself. He needs help. Had he lived a less isolated life when he was younger, say made this change while in his mid-seventies.
Your Retirement Living Habits
Maybe the transition to living in a facility with about 100 other people might have been easier to adapt to? Had he had time to develop friendships and felt more “equal” to others as he aged?
We will never know. Maybe the insecurity of a lack of education would have still been an excuse for him. Few 97-year-old men were as conscious of their personal status as he was.
As you find yourselves slowly living more like the people who live elbow to elbow in your own neighborhoods in your own homes, and not interacting with your neighbors and community, do you feel some concern for your personal situation?
Knowing that there is something I can do about the whole thing makes me feel empowered. Are you making plans to move for your retirement years? Getting out of the rut you have been in for your working life?
What Is Your Retirement Living Plan
Relocating for your retirement years? Maybe it is time to consider this idea.
That house in the middle of nowhere may seem attractive for now, but are you setting the stage for a miserable living situation in your later years.
Are you helping your parents plan their next move? As a watcher of other people, I have observed that the senior retirees who live where there is some social interaction are happier and more active.
Do you think that this is because the people who are more motivated and successful are the ones who could afford more social interaction? Now I am thinking that it is more the result of living habits.
Yes, your retirement living can be a pleasant time that you have more control of than you think. You have worked for that Dream Home to find ourselves enslaved by it. Is your time being consumed taking care of a home that is intended for raising a family? Are you ready to retired?.
Your Retirement Living Plan Need Redoing?
That is not the place in life you find yourselves now. What is next? Should you go ahead and get on the list to move to the apartment house there in your small town in the Texas Hill Country? The one where the tenants who look after each other? Or a Cohousing Living Apartment House?
Is it time to start acclimating yourselves to a more social lifestyle? This is an idea that will require some thought. Living this close to others is worth considering.
You are not an island and need companionship and interaction with others. I firmly believe God made us all social creatures. Do you want to live in isolation? This may not be the best life style for you to be happy.
Have you considered your alternatives and why? Would you like to have your own personal online business? Learn how here.